Emotional Doesnt Begin to Explain This........

Today has been a very emotional day for me.  Through out this whole process it has been a very weird, emotional,  spiritual journey.  The closer we get to the end of this the more emotional I get about the entire process.  Although, we have dreamed and talked about his day for the last three years it stills seems almost unreal that it is coming to an end and that she will hopefully be here with us very soon.  The thought that something could go wrong and she wouldn't come back with us is almost more than I can think about.

Since the purpose of this blog is to someday share with Michell the journey we went through to bring her to our family it cant go unmentioned the greatest sacrifice of all to make that happen and that is her mother giving us this gift.  Not a day goes by that I don't think about what she is going through and what she is giving up.  I have cried many tears thinking about how her heart must be breaking.  As happy as we are that she is coming into our family, I know that she is also leaving behind a family that loves her very much and will miss her. 

This is very hard for me.  My big kids don't live with me and I know what a heart wrenching decision that was for me and I knew I was going to get to see them and that they would still be part of my life.  I cant imagine having to make that decision and not knowing if I would ever see my child again. 

I go between emotions of thinking about how devastated I would be at this point if she changes her mind to thinking about how devastating this is to her and how she will be able to let her go when the time comes.  All I know is that I'm sure there will be many more tears cried over the next week or so.  I just hope I can hold it together so that we can get through this.

The most important thing I want Michell to know about all of this is that her mother loved her very much and made many sacrifices for all of this to happen.  As we are planning a new life with a new family member, she is planning a life without her little girl.  I know things will be hard for her and that makes me very sad.  I pray that God will give us all the strength we need to get through the next week and beyond.....