So yesterday, September 26 I checked the payment portal website several times to see if we had been invoiced yet but nothing. Then finally around 3:00 pm i look and they have invoiced us for one of our fees. So i quickly paid that $88.00. I received an email a couple of hours later letting me know that they had finally invoiced me and that i could go online and pay and that it would take a couple of days to process payment. Also received an email containing a form that had to be completed and mailed back. Of course i had already emailed this form to them earlier in the week but i went ahead and mailed it to them today just to make sure they get it.
We talked to biological mom yesterday and let her know we needed her to get the baby's passport photos done and sent to us as soon as possible. She said she would go take care of it today so went and sent her money for that this morning.
So, this is where I am emotionally in all of this. I know people who have read this are thinking to themselves why are you doing this? Why are you so vested in getting to a child that isn't yours? Those questions alone are one of the reasons I debated with myself about even starting this blog or sharing this experience but they are very easy questions to answer for me. The first and most important reason is because I love my husband. He is the sweetest and kindest person I have ever met. He came to the United States when he was 16 because he needed to help support his family (his father died when he was 6 leaving his mom with 5 young children) He is a hard worker and still to this day helps to support all of his family in Mexico. He is the type of person who friends come to when they need something because they know he will be more than willing to help. So if there is a way that I can help do something for him then of course I am willing to do it. Secondly, Martin has always loved my children. From the first time he met them he has loved them. They argue sometimes and get mad at each other sometimes like any normal family but he LOVES them and would do anything for any of them. The day we got married they weren't my kids or his kids but OUR children and we love all of them equally. So although i may not have given birth to her she is my child and i love her. It is not her fault that she was born in a country where the average person makes what is equivalent in the US to $50.00 a month. I want her to have a better life. I want her to have a chance to have a good life with a family that loves her. So you ask why am i doing this and I answer how could i not?
Friday, September 28, 2012
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Still moving forward......
So this is where we are now. We have received approval but now it goes to the National Visa Center. I called everyday after the approval notice to see if they had our case yet. They received case on Sept 21st. So now we have to wait for them to manually load our case which they say could take up to a month. Once information is loaded they generate more fees which can be paid online. So like a crazy person i check the website no less than ten times a day waiting to be able to pay the fees and get moving along. Once fees are paid we have to mail in a packet with all of our paperwork that we have already submitted (birth certificates, marriage certificate etc...) and some new things such as affidavit saying we can financially provide for the child, copies of our passports etc... Only problem now is that i don't have everything we need. I knew Michell was going to need a passport to come home with us but didn't realize we would need to send copies of it this soon. She doesn't have a passport and it's a process just to get that done. Just like in the United States both parent have to give permission for a minor to apply for a passport. So we called the Honduras Consulate here to find out what we needed to do. They tell us we need long form birth certificate for Michell (which we don't have) and Martin has to come in and get an affidavit notarized saying he gives biological mom permission to apply for passport. So we send money so she can get the birth certificate ordered and sent to us as quickly as possible. It is on it's way to us now by fedex which says it could be 10 - 15 days before we receive. So we are waiting to get that so we can travel to New Orleans to the Honduras Consulate and get this form he has to have notarized so we can send it back to her (another 10-15 days) so she can apply for passport. The bio mom has told us it takes about a month to get a passport there but we are hoping if we pay more we can get it quicker. So we are waiting again......
I logged onto the payment portal earlier and got a message saying that you can not make online payments at this time. From what I've read this is a good sign. It means they are working on our case and getting ready to invoice us. Once we have paid fees submitted packets and they have looked to make sure everything is there then the whole case is transferred yet again. This time it will go to the US embassy in Honduras. Once they have the packet they will set up an interview with us. We will have to travel to Honduras where we will finally get to meet our little girl (yay) and to present all of our documents and proof of relationship and answer any questions they have for us. At this time they will either approve the Visa and we will be on the next flight back to the US with our little girl (finally) or they will ask us to submit a DNA test or they could deny the visa request and we will come home devastated. I refuse to think of that as a possibility at this point.
We were hoping to go visit her in December for her 3rd birthday but now with everything moving more quickly than expected we are putting off that trip hoping by January we will be going for our interview.
At this point all we can do is PRAY AND BELIEVE thus the name of my blog site: PrayAndBelieve.blogspot.com. I do believe that everything happens in God's perfect timing. If Martin had found out about the pregnancy one day earlier he would have been able to stop her from leaving and going back to Honduras. They would probably be together now because he would have tried to make it work for the sake of his child. That is the kind of person he is and I love him for that. If that were the case I wouldn't be married to my best friend, and we wouldn't have Micah who is a joy and a blessing to our family. If Martin had filed his petition when she was born he would have been waiting 4 or 5 years to possibly be getting a visa for her. But because God's timing is perfect the biological mom decided she was ready after me and Martin were married. Everything so far has happened much faster than we expected and we have faith that things will continue to move in a positive and quick manner. We are Praying and Believing that God will lead us down the quickest path to our child and will bring her home very soon. Please keep us in your prayer also.
I will continue to blog about our journey so that one day we can look back with Michell and she can see the hoops we jumped through to get her here and how much we loved her even before we ever met her.
I logged onto the payment portal earlier and got a message saying that you can not make online payments at this time. From what I've read this is a good sign. It means they are working on our case and getting ready to invoice us. Once we have paid fees submitted packets and they have looked to make sure everything is there then the whole case is transferred yet again. This time it will go to the US embassy in Honduras. Once they have the packet they will set up an interview with us. We will have to travel to Honduras where we will finally get to meet our little girl (yay) and to present all of our documents and proof of relationship and answer any questions they have for us. At this time they will either approve the Visa and we will be on the next flight back to the US with our little girl (finally) or they will ask us to submit a DNA test or they could deny the visa request and we will come home devastated. I refuse to think of that as a possibility at this point.
We were hoping to go visit her in December for her 3rd birthday but now with everything moving more quickly than expected we are putting off that trip hoping by January we will be going for our interview.
At this point all we can do is PRAY AND BELIEVE thus the name of my blog site: PrayAndBelieve.blogspot.com. I do believe that everything happens in God's perfect timing. If Martin had found out about the pregnancy one day earlier he would have been able to stop her from leaving and going back to Honduras. They would probably be together now because he would have tried to make it work for the sake of his child. That is the kind of person he is and I love him for that. If that were the case I wouldn't be married to my best friend, and we wouldn't have Micah who is a joy and a blessing to our family. If Martin had filed his petition when she was born he would have been waiting 4 or 5 years to possibly be getting a visa for her. But because God's timing is perfect the biological mom decided she was ready after me and Martin were married. Everything so far has happened much faster than we expected and we have faith that things will continue to move in a positive and quick manner. We are Praying and Believing that God will lead us down the quickest path to our child and will bring her home very soon. Please keep us in your prayer also.
I will continue to blog about our journey so that one day we can look back with Michell and she can see the hoops we jumped through to get her here and how much we loved her even before we ever met her.
So this is where the journey begins.....
So she says she is ready for us to have the baby. Of course Martin's first reaction is immediately ok what do we need to do. Mine is more guarded, she has told you this a million times and then she changes her mind. You haven't heard from her in a year. We have gotten our hopes up so many times and then nothing happens. So over the next few days we have many conversations over the phone with her. Every time she reassures us that she is serious and she is ready to do this.
The situation is a little different this time around because now me and Martin are married and I am a US citizen so i can petition for her as my stepdaughter and the waiting is just processing the paperwork and having the visa approved. (or at least this is what i believed) So of course i get started on it. I read everything i can find. I call and talk to someone with immigration services.
First step is to file a petition called an I-130. This is the petition for the visa which is sent to USCIS for approval along with $420 to process it. Basically you just send proof that you are a US citizen and you have the right to petition for the person. So I send out application and all necessary paperwork and then we wait. Application mailed July 2nd. Get confirmation they have received on July 5, 2012) And now we wait......
Next step is that it will be assigned a case number and forwarded to one of the 4 processing centers to handle. Of course i do my homework again and find out that out of the processing centers that California is processing the quickest at 5 months. Some of the other centers are taking 9 months or longer. So now i am praying for California!
July 9, 2012 We receive notice in the mail that our application has been accepted and that it has been forwarded to California for processing. We will receive notice if we need to do anything else. I go online and register my email with them so they will send me text notifications when our status changes from Initial Review. So again we wait..........(but yay for California)
At this point I'm thinking well we have 5 months to wait to get either an approval, a RFE (request for evidence) or something saying they are denying our request. This is the tricky part because even though Martin is listed on the birth certificate as the father he was never married to biological mother so we have to prove a bona fide parent child relationship exists. How do you do that when she is only 2 and we have never met her? Time to do more homework.....so i find out that we have to show he has supported her financially and that he has shown interest in her well being. So at this point i have contacted Western Union and requested copies of all money transfers from us to her. (which i am still waiting on) I also contacted AT&T and they sent me copies of the last 16 mos of our phone bills which i have gone through and highlighted every phone call or text message. She is 2 1/2 years old now so Martin talks to her on a regular basis now and we have had web cam chats so we can see her and vice versa. We also have to keep record of all of these calls. In doing my research i came across some really great forums that people have started that are all going through or have already gone through this same process. This information has been so helpful! In doing so I found out that some people had been waiting for almost a year to get an approval. All of this consumes my thoughts so i can't imagine waiting for a year. I pray really hard for patience (obviously I'm going to need it) guidance (so i can figure all of this out) faith (so that i don't go crazy with the what ifs) and money (to help us through this long and expensive journey). Then i find where someone has posted that they sent application in on June 30th it was being processed in California and two months later they received an RFE asking for DNA results to prove paternity. GREAT! California is processing really quick but DNA results....what? Again i do homework and find out that they can request that a DNA test be done at your expense but each case is handled differently so we just have to wait to see if it will be requested. Hoping not because that would be anywhere from $500-$700 and delay our case up to 2-3 months.
Sept. 11, 2012 i wake up to a text message saying to check the status of your case (as if i hadn't been checking online everyday hoping for news) Anyway, i call Martin as I'm logging onto the computer with shaking hands. I'm so nervous. PLEASE lord let this be an approval. I log on and it says your case has been approved. We have forwarded your case to the National Visa Center for processing.
YAY!!!!!! One step closer.
The situation is a little different this time around because now me and Martin are married and I am a US citizen so i can petition for her as my stepdaughter and the waiting is just processing the paperwork and having the visa approved. (or at least this is what i believed) So of course i get started on it. I read everything i can find. I call and talk to someone with immigration services.
First step is to file a petition called an I-130. This is the petition for the visa which is sent to USCIS for approval along with $420 to process it. Basically you just send proof that you are a US citizen and you have the right to petition for the person. So I send out application and all necessary paperwork and then we wait. Application mailed July 2nd. Get confirmation they have received on July 5, 2012) And now we wait......
Next step is that it will be assigned a case number and forwarded to one of the 4 processing centers to handle. Of course i do my homework again and find out that out of the processing centers that California is processing the quickest at 5 months. Some of the other centers are taking 9 months or longer. So now i am praying for California!
July 9, 2012 We receive notice in the mail that our application has been accepted and that it has been forwarded to California for processing. We will receive notice if we need to do anything else. I go online and register my email with them so they will send me text notifications when our status changes from Initial Review. So again we wait..........(but yay for California)
At this point I'm thinking well we have 5 months to wait to get either an approval, a RFE (request for evidence) or something saying they are denying our request. This is the tricky part because even though Martin is listed on the birth certificate as the father he was never married to biological mother so we have to prove a bona fide parent child relationship exists. How do you do that when she is only 2 and we have never met her? Time to do more homework.....so i find out that we have to show he has supported her financially and that he has shown interest in her well being. So at this point i have contacted Western Union and requested copies of all money transfers from us to her. (which i am still waiting on) I also contacted AT&T and they sent me copies of the last 16 mos of our phone bills which i have gone through and highlighted every phone call or text message. She is 2 1/2 years old now so Martin talks to her on a regular basis now and we have had web cam chats so we can see her and vice versa. We also have to keep record of all of these calls. In doing my research i came across some really great forums that people have started that are all going through or have already gone through this same process. This information has been so helpful! In doing so I found out that some people had been waiting for almost a year to get an approval. All of this consumes my thoughts so i can't imagine waiting for a year. I pray really hard for patience (obviously I'm going to need it) guidance (so i can figure all of this out) faith (so that i don't go crazy with the what ifs) and money (to help us through this long and expensive journey). Then i find where someone has posted that they sent application in on June 30th it was being processed in California and two months later they received an RFE asking for DNA results to prove paternity. GREAT! California is processing really quick but DNA results....what? Again i do homework and find out that they can request that a DNA test be done at your expense but each case is handled differently so we just have to wait to see if it will be requested. Hoping not because that would be anywhere from $500-$700 and delay our case up to 2-3 months.
Sept. 11, 2012 i wake up to a text message saying to check the status of your case (as if i hadn't been checking online everyday hoping for news) Anyway, i call Martin as I'm logging onto the computer with shaking hands. I'm so nervous. PLEASE lord let this be an approval. I log on and it says your case has been approved. We have forwarded your case to the National Visa Center for processing.
YAY!!!!!! One step closer.
Getting Started
To keep from going crazy, to give me something to do while we wait, and to document our journey I have decided to start this blog. To understand where we are you must first understand where we started so here goes an attempt to get everyone up to speed.
Martin and i have been together for a little more than three years now. When we were first getting to know each other about 3 months into our friendship he found out that his ex-girlfriend who he had lived with was pregnant with his child. He didn't hear this from her but from a mutual friend and was told she was about 6 months pregnant. He didn't know what to do. He had not talked to her since they broke up which had been about 4 months by this time. The next day we set out to find her. He started by trying to call her but the number had been disconnected. He made phone calls to other people. We drove by places he thought she might be staying to see if he could find her vehicle. He finally talked to someone that said she might know where she was living. We drove out together to this house and he saw her car parked outside. He was so nervous because he didn't know what to do or what he was even going to say if he found her. He knocked on the door and a young man opened. He asked if she was there and the man told him no. He asked if she was living there and the man said not anymore, she left yesterday on a plane for Honduras. Martin was devastated. He knew she was in the United States illegally and that her family lived in Honduras. If she had gone back to Honduras there would be no way for her to come back to the United States, at least not before the baby was born. This also meant that his child was going to be born in another country. We drove back to his house in complete silence. I felt so bad for him because although he just found out about the pregnancy i could tell the thought of having a child made him happy and now he was unsure if he was ever going to see the baby. He tried during the next couple of months to get in touch with her. He called every number he had for her family in Honduras and left messages but nobody would answer or call back. Then a few days after Thanksgiving 2009 she called him. She told him she was pregnant with his child and that it was a girl and she was due any day. He was so thankful that she finally called but of course he had a million questions: why did she leave? why didn't she tell him? why didn't she give him a chance to be part of his child's life? I don't know her reasoning, I'm guessing she felt alone and wanted to be with her family.
On December 1, 2009 Martin got a phone call from her at 2:00 am saying she was going to the hospital. The entire day he was a nervous wreck. Waiting to hear something. Finally around 9:00 p.m. he got a call from her brother saying that she had the baby. He was so excited and yet sad all at the same time. On one hand he was so excited she had been born and that she was ok but then the realization that he didn't know if he would ever see her. He went that day and sent money for his baby girl. This continued for months. He would get paid and go send money. She would call and say the baby was sick or needed something and he would go send money. He had people telling him he was crazy that she might not even be his child but he believed in his heart that she was his and he loved her. After a few months and many conversations about why she left without telling him she finally said that she knew it was a mistake that at the time she felt hopeless and just wanted to be with her family. She didn't know what to do. She knew that she should have stayed at least long enough to have the baby so she could have been born in the United States but now the baby was a Honduras citizen and couldn't just come to the United States. Because Martin is not a United States Citizen either (he was born in Mexico but has a United States Residency/Green Card) he couldn't just bring her back here either. She told Martin over and over that she wanted him to have the baby that she knew he could provide for her and that she could have a better life here.
We looked into getting a visa for her but found out that it could take 4 to 5 years or longer for immigration to be available since he was not a United States Citizen. If he was a citizen the process would only take about 4 to 5 months. This seemed like an impossible solution so he kept up with her by phone calls. She sent him pictures and he would show them off proudly like any normal dad. By this time me and Martin were together. Our friendship had developed into more and we were a couple. Then shortly after the baby, whose name is Michell, turned a year old the phone calls stopped. For about a year we had no contact with her. Didn't receive pictures didn't know if she was ok.....nothing. During this time Martin and I were starting our own lives together. We had been through a devastating miscarriage, the loss of my older sister, pregnancy again, the birth of our son, our marriage and then suddenly he gets a text message from her.
This time she is ready for him to take the baby. She said she wasn't ready before. She couldn't imagine giving her up. She knows the baby will have a better life in the states and it's too hard for her. She says sometimes she doesn't have enough money to buy the baby the things she needs and she knows it is going to get harder the longer she waits.............
Martin and i have been together for a little more than three years now. When we were first getting to know each other about 3 months into our friendship he found out that his ex-girlfriend who he had lived with was pregnant with his child. He didn't hear this from her but from a mutual friend and was told she was about 6 months pregnant. He didn't know what to do. He had not talked to her since they broke up which had been about 4 months by this time. The next day we set out to find her. He started by trying to call her but the number had been disconnected. He made phone calls to other people. We drove by places he thought she might be staying to see if he could find her vehicle. He finally talked to someone that said she might know where she was living. We drove out together to this house and he saw her car parked outside. He was so nervous because he didn't know what to do or what he was even going to say if he found her. He knocked on the door and a young man opened. He asked if she was there and the man told him no. He asked if she was living there and the man said not anymore, she left yesterday on a plane for Honduras. Martin was devastated. He knew she was in the United States illegally and that her family lived in Honduras. If she had gone back to Honduras there would be no way for her to come back to the United States, at least not before the baby was born. This also meant that his child was going to be born in another country. We drove back to his house in complete silence. I felt so bad for him because although he just found out about the pregnancy i could tell the thought of having a child made him happy and now he was unsure if he was ever going to see the baby. He tried during the next couple of months to get in touch with her. He called every number he had for her family in Honduras and left messages but nobody would answer or call back. Then a few days after Thanksgiving 2009 she called him. She told him she was pregnant with his child and that it was a girl and she was due any day. He was so thankful that she finally called but of course he had a million questions: why did she leave? why didn't she tell him? why didn't she give him a chance to be part of his child's life? I don't know her reasoning, I'm guessing she felt alone and wanted to be with her family.
On December 1, 2009 Martin got a phone call from her at 2:00 am saying she was going to the hospital. The entire day he was a nervous wreck. Waiting to hear something. Finally around 9:00 p.m. he got a call from her brother saying that she had the baby. He was so excited and yet sad all at the same time. On one hand he was so excited she had been born and that she was ok but then the realization that he didn't know if he would ever see her. He went that day and sent money for his baby girl. This continued for months. He would get paid and go send money. She would call and say the baby was sick or needed something and he would go send money. He had people telling him he was crazy that she might not even be his child but he believed in his heart that she was his and he loved her. After a few months and many conversations about why she left without telling him she finally said that she knew it was a mistake that at the time she felt hopeless and just wanted to be with her family. She didn't know what to do. She knew that she should have stayed at least long enough to have the baby so she could have been born in the United States but now the baby was a Honduras citizen and couldn't just come to the United States. Because Martin is not a United States Citizen either (he was born in Mexico but has a United States Residency/Green Card) he couldn't just bring her back here either. She told Martin over and over that she wanted him to have the baby that she knew he could provide for her and that she could have a better life here.
We looked into getting a visa for her but found out that it could take 4 to 5 years or longer for immigration to be available since he was not a United States Citizen. If he was a citizen the process would only take about 4 to 5 months. This seemed like an impossible solution so he kept up with her by phone calls. She sent him pictures and he would show them off proudly like any normal dad. By this time me and Martin were together. Our friendship had developed into more and we were a couple. Then shortly after the baby, whose name is Michell, turned a year old the phone calls stopped. For about a year we had no contact with her. Didn't receive pictures didn't know if she was ok.....nothing. During this time Martin and I were starting our own lives together. We had been through a devastating miscarriage, the loss of my older sister, pregnancy again, the birth of our son, our marriage and then suddenly he gets a text message from her.
This time she is ready for him to take the baby. She said she wasn't ready before. She couldn't imagine giving her up. She knows the baby will have a better life in the states and it's too hard for her. She says sometimes she doesn't have enough money to buy the baby the things she needs and she knows it is going to get harder the longer she waits.............
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